(no subject)

Apr. 23rd, 2025 09:54 am
oursin: Brush the Wandering Hedgehog by the fire (Default)
[personal profile] oursin
Happy birthday, [personal profile] damnmagpie!

If anyone could use a morale boost

Apr. 22nd, 2025 05:17 pm
rydra_wong: Lee Miller photo showing two women wearing metal fire masks in England during WWII. (Default)
[personal profile] rydra_wong
https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2025/04/protests-erupt-across-the-uk-after-supreme-court-ruled-against-trans-rights/

Many many pictures.

Also, more protests yet to come, apparently, with ones scheduled for Oxford and Cambridge.

Physio reprised

Apr. 22nd, 2025 04:56 pm
oursin: Photograph of a statue of Hygeia, goddess of health (Hygeia)
[personal profile] oursin

So today was my physio let's see how you're doing assessment, at the different health centre -

- which I was in a bit of a swivet about getting to, because the obvious straightforward route is the longest, and there are shorter ones but these involve a tangle of residential streets -

- not to mention, whichever way you slice it, the road winds uphill all the way, yea, to the very end, because the health centre is bang opposite Parliament Hill.

Nonetheless, I found a route which seemed doable, which said 24 mins (and that was not actually starting from home base but from the road by the railway line), which I thought was possibly optimistic for an Old Duck such as myself, but mirabile dictu it was in fact just over 20 but under 25 minutes, win, eh?

And took me along streets I have seldom walked along since the 70s/80s when I was visiting them more frequently for Reasons.

Had a rather short but I hope useful meeting with the physio - some changes to existing exercises and a new one or two.

Thought I would get a bus back as I had had time to check out the nearby bus stops, and there was one coming along which according to the information at the stop was going in a useful direction.

Alas it was coming from the desired direction, but still, cut off a certain amount of homewards slog.

ambyr: a dark-winged man standing in a doorway over water; his reflection has white wings (watercolor by Stephanie Pui-Mun Law) (Default)
[personal profile] ambyr posting in [community profile] agonyaunt
Dear Carolyn: When I asked my daughter-in-law about their vacation destination and flight information, she asked why I wanted to know. I said if there was a crash, I would want to know that it wasn’t their flight. She asked why I was wishing their plane to crash. She also said this type of question takes away her agency.

Sharing flight information is common among my mom friends, so I was surprised. She suggested therapy to handle my anxiety.

I am now feeling very unsure about how to relate to her. She seems to make up a version of me that isn’t accurate and then respond as if that was who I am. I want to avoid conflict with her because this relationship is important to my son. How to proceed?


Easiest: Stop asking for flight info )

(no subject)

Apr. 22nd, 2025 09:59 am
oursin: Brush the Wandering Hedgehog by the fire (Default)
[personal profile] oursin
Happy birthday, [personal profile] mme_hardy and [personal profile] polyamorous!

(no subject)

Apr. 21st, 2025 06:48 pm
conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly posting in [community profile] agonyaunt
Dear Care and Feeding,

My family and I live down the block from my sister and her family. They went away for spring break to visit her in-laws and tasked my 12-year-old daughter “Blair” with feeding their tropical fish while they were gone.

The day before they were due back, Blair went over in the morning to feed the fish and discovered they were all dead. It turned out that the tank heater had failed at some point during the previous day after Blair took care of them. The problem is that my sister is blaming Blair for “killing” her fish and demanding that we pay for new ones. Blair feels terrible about what happened, but she did a temperature check of the water before she left on the last day they were alive, and the temperature was where it was supposed to be (she had been writing it down on the daily temperature log, so we know for sure), so there was no negligence on her part. I explained this to my sister, but she won’t budge. Now she says Blair and her cousins (with whom she is very close) can’t play together until we pay for new fish. My husband thinks this is outrageous, and I agree. Even so, would buying some new fish be worth it so we can put this in the rearview mirror for Blair’s sake?

—Fish Fallout


Read more... )

(no subject)

Apr. 21st, 2025 05:25 pm
conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly posting in [community profile] agonyaunt
Dear Care and Feeding,

My sister had her first child when I was 18 and her second when I was 20. (She’s eight years older than I am.) She lives a little over an hour from me, and we’ve always had a good relationship. I watched the kids regularly when I was in college, working around my class schedule, and I continued to do so for many years since, during the summer and on days off from school (I am a teacher). The kids are now 16 and 18, and I have a solid relationship with both of them. I also got married and had two kids of my own.

My sister-in-law is pregnant with her first baby. When I mentioned, at a gathering of my family, the Easter-themed pajamas I had bought for the baby (in what I hope will be the right size for next year), my sister got upset.

She pointed out that I’m “already hosting her [my SIL’s] baby shower,” and complained that I was now “also buying stuff for her baby for a holiday that isn’t even a gift-giving one.” I was surprised. I told her the pajamas were on clearance and I’d picked them up on impulse because they were cute. She responded that I had never bought anything for her kids for Easter when they were young. I said that was true, I hadn’t: I had been a broke college student at the time and also not a parent myself, so my awareness of things like that was much lower. She asked if I was going to continue buying things for that child on every other non-gift holiday—“Saint Patrick’s Day, Halloween, Thanksgiving?” I told her I might if I happened to see something I thought was cute; I jokingly asked if she’d like me to buy matching pajamas for her kids for Halloween this year if I found them.

She got even angrier and said she hopes my SIL appreciates all that I am doing for her because not everyone gets that from their family (very clearly meaning she hadn’t gotten that from me). I told her she was right—not everyone gets $1.99 Easter pajamas for their baby. But maybe some people got years of free babysitting, often with little to no notice, instead of cheap pajamas, because that’s what I was able to give at the time. She got up and left. I tried calling and texting her; she hasn’t responded. My mother has told me that my sister has talked to her about it, that my comment had hurt her, and that I was holding the child care I had done over her head. My mother thinks I should apologize.

I have no idea where this is coming from. It’s very out-of-character for her. I can’t believe she’s jealous about a pair of pajamas (or whatever that gift represents) for another baby when I have always had/still maintain a close relationship with her children. Our brothers also have kids we are both close to, and she has never acted like this. Can I just ignore her unreasonable behavior or do I actually have to address it? I usually have a cookout and host both sides of our family around the start of summer. I’d like to be confident that my SIL won’t be the object of my sister’s wrath that day just because she has the audacity to be pregnant with my future niece or nephew. But how?

—Aunt to Others, Too


Read more... )

Face the Dragon, by Joyce Sweeney

Apr. 21st, 2025 11:59 am
rachelmanija: (Books: old)
[personal profile] rachelmanija


In this YA novel published in 1990, six fourteen-year-olds face their inner dragons while they're in an accelerated academic program which includes a class on Beowulf.

I read this when it first came out, so when I saw a copy at a library book sale, I grabbed it to re-read. It largely holds up, though I'd completely forgotten the main plot and only recalled the theme and the subplot.

My recollection of the book was that the six teenagers are inspired by class discussions on Beowulf to face their personal fears. This is correct. I also recalled that one of the girls was a gymnast with an eating disorder and one of the boys was an athlete partially paralyzed in an accident, and those two bonded over their love of sports and current conflicted/damaging relationship to sports and their bodies, and ended up dating. This is also correct.

What I'd completely forgotten was the main plot, which was about the narrator, Eric, who idolized his best friend, Paul, and had an idealized crush on one of the girls in the class, who he was correctly convinced had a crush on Paul, and incorrectly convinced Paul was mutually attracted to. Paul, who is charming and outgoing, convinces Eric, who is shy, to do a speech class with him, where Eric surprisingly excels. The main plot is about the Eric/Paul relationship, how Eric's jealousy nearly wrecks it, and how the boys both end up facing their dragons and fixing their friendship.

Paul's dragon is that he's secretly gay. The speech teacher takes a dislike to him, promotes Eric to the debate team when Paul deserves it more (and tells Eric this in private), and finally tries to destroy Paul in front of the whole class by accusing him of being gay! Eric defends Paul, Paul confesses his secret to him, and the boys repair their friendship.

While a bit dated/historical, especially in terms of both boys knowing literally nothing about what being gay actually means in terms of living your life, it's a very nicely done novel with lots of good character sketches. The teachers are all real characters, as are the six kids - all of whom have their own journeys. The crush object, for instance, is a pretty rich girl who's been crammed into a narrow box of traditional femininity, and her journey is to destroy the idealized image that Eric is in love with and her parents have imposed on her - and part of Eric's journey is to accept the role of being her supportive friend who helps her do it.

I was surprised and pleased to discover that this and other Sweeney books are currently available as ebooks. I will check some out.

Maybe I'm being unduly cynical

Apr. 21st, 2025 02:42 pm
oursin: hedgehog carving from Amiens cathedral (Amiens hedgehog)
[personal profile] oursin

But this did sound awfully like that spate of books where people had A Bright Idea to Do Something for A Year and got a book out of it, which was clearly the intention, and this struck my cynical ayfeist self as 'My Spiritual Pilgrimage to a Mystical Experience, Conversion, Faith, and Publishing Deal'.

Could I become a Christian in a year?

(How long did it take St Augustine? asking for a friend.)

For my perpetual Christian road-trip – beginning in the last months of 2022 and ending in early 2024 – I purchased a 21 year-old Toyota Corolla and stocked the glove box with second-hand CDs. I filled up my calendar with Christian retreats, church visits and stays in the houses of Christian strangers all across the highways and byways of the UK – Cornwall, Sussex, Kent, Hertfordshire, Birmingham, north Wales, Norfolk, Sheffield, Halifax, Durham, the Inner Hebrides – seeking out every kind of Christian, from Catholics to Orthodox Christians: Quakers, Pentecostals, Evangelicals, high to low Anglicans, Baptists, Methodists, Presbyterians, self-professed mystics, focusing on my generation specifically, those in their 20s and 30s, the youngest set of adults in Britain.

70s flashback!!! Only in those days it was people working their way through the various offerings of the 'Growth' aka 'Human Potential' Movement that was flourishing then and I'm pretty sure that people wrote up their memoirs of their odysseys through the various practices/groups/cults on offer.

I was also, in the light of this article today, intrigued that it was two bloke friends who set her on this path: I’m delighted to see gen Z men in the UK flocking back to church – I just hope it’s for the right reasons. So am I. I have a friend who has been involved in the much-delayed and still unsatisfactory response of the C of E to certain abuse cases and some of those seem to have been connected with cultish manifestations which were praised for bringing in that particular demographic.

(And having noted the other day that Witchfinder Hopkins was pretty much in that demographic of young men aged 18-24, I'd really like to know where these Gen Z converts are in relation to issues like ordination of women, LGCBTQ+ inclusivity, etc etc.)

siderea: (Default)
[personal profile] siderea
There's been a lot of really great public addresses of various kinds on the occasion of the 250th anniversary of the Battles of Lexington and Concord. I thought I'd share a few.

1.

Here's one that is quite worth your time. Historian Heather Cox Richardson gave a talk on the 18th of April in the Old North Church – the very building where the two lanterns of legend were hung. It's an absolutely fantastic account of the events leading up to April 19, 1775 – a marvel of concision, coherence, and clarity – that I think helps really see them anew.

You can read it at her blog if you prefer, but I strongly recommend listening to her tell you this story in her voice, standing on the site.

2025 April 18: Heather Cox Richardson [YT]: Heather Cox Richardson Speech - 250 Year Lantern Anniversary - Old North Church (28 minutes):




More within )

(no subject)

Apr. 21st, 2025 10:02 am
oursin: Brush the Wandering Hedgehog by the fire (Default)
[personal profile] oursin
Happy birthday, [personal profile] lexin!

UK people: disability benefit cuts

Apr. 21st, 2025 09:48 am
rydra_wong: Grasshopper mouse stands on its hind legs to howl. (turn venom into painkillers)
[personal profile] rydra_wong
Rebellion is growing among Labour MPs, so if you have a Labour MP, now is a VERY good and important time to write to them to protest the proposed PIP and other cuts:

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2025/apr/20/the-whole-policy-is-wrong-rebellion-among-labour-mps-grows-over-5bn-benefits-cut

(If you have a non-Labour MP, hassle them too and see if they can be persuaded to do something vaguely useful.)

vital functions

Apr. 20th, 2025 10:53 pm
kaberett: Trans symbol with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)
[personal profile] kaberett

Reading. I continue to make slow progress with both What An Owl Knows (Jennifer Ackerman) and Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell (Susanna Clarke).

Writing. Grumpy e-mails to Labour, mostly? Grumpy e-mails to Labour. Oh, and separately to the DWP courtesy of My UC Journal.

Playing. I have tripped and fallen back into 2048. I do not know why I have tripped and fallen thus. There are other things I would rather be doing. Brain whyyy.

I Love Hue current status: just started The Alchemy/Knowledge/12.

Cooking. Two new-to-us recipes from East: caramelised fennel and carrot salad with mung beans and herbs, of which I am a fan but about which A is a bit meh; and Amritsari pomegranate chickpeas, with the decaf English Breakfast I bought the other week, which I also quite liked but A was mildly dubious of.

Today has featured a different Welsh cake recipe, from one of the charity-shop books I acquired for the purposes of the special interest in EYB indexing. This one includes honey and ground mixed spice; I am decidedly disconcerted by how much they taste like Wrong Texture Mince Pies when cool.

Eating. ... yeah it's been A Migrainey Week, and has consequently contained two rounds of Wagamama. TRAGICALLY I decided on the first of these to branch out and try Not My Usual. Not My Usual turned out to contain The Dread Mayonnaise (I had been lulled into a false sense of security by the number of things called "slaw" I had recently encountered that did not contain mayo). It was mostly salvageable...

Exploring. ADVENTURES in VAN HIRE for the purposes of moving SHED. This involved heading out to Hatfield, because the one fifteen minutes up the road was already Thoroughly Booked. We got to observe MORE FLOWERS and lo they were good.

... I think that's it? I think that's it. (A also went on another adventure to acquire roof box and appropriate rack, but I stayed at home for that one.)

Making & mending. I have not, technically, actually resumed A's pair of gloves, BUT I have now got the information from A I need in order to do so! So that's a progress.

... there has also been. Event prep. So much event prep. The meal ticket booklets for crew are all done; the potions are all sliced and folded ready for laminating (except for the one that needed someone to actually finish writing what it did); ... progress?

Growing. SO MANY SQUASH. Not all of the ones I sowed, but... a lot... have come up.

Somewhat irritated that somebody found my Bravest Dwarf Pea, which had actually managed to find and attach itself to the pea sticks, and severed the stem a little below said attachment. :|

Main infrastructural progress this week was getting all the railway sleepers and shed bits up to the plot (with significant and indispensable help from A). I've not done anything with them yet but they are there, I have plans, necessary hardware is en route, etc.

What else what else? First of the beans are in the ground. I was feeling decidedly surly about my redcurrant but this turns out to have been premature and unfair -- since last weekend it's unfurled a little more and is looking much more promising in terms of potential harvest. The raspberries also seem to be very much enjoying the mulch + semi-regular watering, which is pleasing.

Observing. I totally forgot to mention in last week's section on this topic that on the ride back from Anglesey Abbey we observed Many Cowslips, including at least one that was red!

Tulips continue fantastic. Irises are getting into the swing of things at this point. The bindweed is definitely waking up...

Culinary

Apr. 20th, 2025 06:29 pm
oursin: Frontispiece from C17th household manual (Accomplisht Lady)
[personal profile] oursin

No bread made this week, last week's + rolls holding out.

Firday night supper: sardegnera with spicy Calabrian salami; okay but not the great sardegnera I've accomplished.

Saturday breakfast rolls: the ones loosely based on James Beard's mother's raisin bread, made with Marriage's Light Spelt Flour.

Today's lunch: lemon sole fillets, which I baked thus - first cooked chopped shallots, chopped up butter and pancetta in hot oven for 15 mins, then added quartered little gem lettuce for a further 5 mins, then added petit pois (tinned, recipe said frozen but they only had huge bags of frozen) and white wine + water (recipe said vegetable stock but didn't have any) and placed sole fillets on top and seasoned with salt and pepper, baked for a further 5-10 mins, added lemon zest just before serving (this was about finding something to do with spare packet of pancetta left over from the other week); served with warm green bean and fennel salad (dressing actually olive oil + white wine + tarragon, left for a bit to marinate and strained over the beans) (this was using up the fennel left over from last week, also last red onion); and sticky rice with coconut milk and lime leaves.

(no subject)

Apr. 20th, 2025 01:13 pm
oursin: Brush the Wandering Hedgehog by the fire (Default)
[personal profile] oursin
Happy birthday, [personal profile] forthwritten!

Civics education? [gov, civics]

Apr. 20th, 2025 04:29 am
siderea: (Default)
[personal profile] siderea
Informal poll:

I was just watching an activist's video about media in the US in which she showed a clip of Sen. Elizabeth Warren schooling a news anchor about the relationships of the Presidency, Congress, and the Courts to one another. At one point Warren refers to this as "ConLaw 101" – "ConLaw" being the slang term in colleges for Constitutional law classes and "101" being the idiomatic term for a introductory college class. The activist, in discussing what a shonda it is a CNBC news anchor doesn't seem to have the first idea of how our government is organized, says, disgusted, "this is literally 12th grade Government", i.e. this is what is covered in a 12th grade Government class.

Which tripped over something I've been gnawing on for thirty-five years.

The activist who said this is in Oregon.

I'm from Massachusetts, but was schooled in New Hampshire kindergarten through 9th grade (1976-1986). I then moved across the country to California for my sophomore, junior, and senior years of high school (1986-1989).

In California, I was shocked to discover that civics wasn't apparently taught at all until 12th grade.

I had wondered if I just had an idiosyncratic school district, but I got the impression this was the California standard class progression.

And here we have a person about my age in Oregon (don't know where she was educated) exclaiming that knowing the very most basic rudiments of our federal government's organization is, c'mon, "12th grade" stuff, clearly implying she thinks it's normal for an American citizen to learn this in 12th grade, validating my impression that there are places west of the Rockies where this topic isn't broached until the last year of high school.

I just went and asked Mr Bostoniensis about his civics education. He was wholly educated in Massachusetts. He reports it was covered in his 7th or 8th grade history class, as a natural outgrowth of teaching the history of the American Revolution and the crafting of our then-new form of government. He said that later in high school he got a full-on political science class, but the basics were covered in junior high.

Like I said, I went to school in New Hampshire.

It was covered in second grade. I was, like, 7 or 8 years old.

This was not some sort of honors class or gifted enrichment. My entire second grade class – the kids who sat in the red chairs and everybody – was marched down the hall for what we were told was "social studies", but which had, much to my enormous disappointment and bitterness, no sociological content whatsoever, just boring stories about indistinguishable old dead white dudes with strange white hairstyles who were for some reason important.

Nobody expected 7 and 8-year-olds to retain this, of course. So it was repeated every year until we left elementary school. I remember rolling my eyes some time around 6th grade and wondering if we'd ever make it up to the Civil War. (No.)

Now, my perspective on this might be a little skewed because I was also getting federal civics at home. My mom was a legal secretary and a con law fangirl. I've theorized that my mother, a wholly secularized Jew, had an atavistic impulse to obsess over a text and hot swapped the Bill of Rights for the Torah. I'm not suggesting that this resulted in my being well educated about the Constitution, only that while I couldn't give two farts for what my mother thinks about most things about me, every time I have to look up which amendment is which I feel faintly guilty like I am disappointing someone.

Upon further discussion with Mr Bostoniensis, it emerged that another source of his education in American governance was in the Boy Scouts, which he left in junior high. I went and looked up the present Boy Scouts offerings for civics and found that for 4th grade Webelos (proto Boy Scouts) it falls under the "My Community Adventure" ("You’ll learn about the different types of voting and how our national government maintains the balance of power.") For full Boy Scouts (ages 11 and up), there is a merit badge "Citizenship in the Nation" which is just straight up studying the Constitution. ("[...] List the three branches of the United States government. Explain: (a) The function of each branch of government, (b) Why it is important to divide powers among different branches, (c) How each branch "checks" and "balances" the others, (d) How citizens can be involved in each branch of government. [...]")

Meanwhile, I discovered this: Schoolhouse Rock's "Three-Ring Government". I, like most people my age, learned all sorts of crucial parts of American governance like the Preamble of the Constitution and How a Bill Becomes a Law through watching Schoolhouse Rock's public service edutainment interstitials on Saturday morning between the cartoons, but apparently this one managed to entirely miss me. (Wikipedia informs me "'Three Ring Government' had its airdate pushed back due to ABC fearing that the Federal Communications Commission, the U.S. Government, and Congress would object to having their functions and responsibilities being compared to a circus and threaten the network's broadcast license renewal.[citation needed]") These videos were absolutely aimed at elementary-aged school children, and interestingly "Three Ring Government" starts with the implication ("Guess I got the idea right here in school//felt like a fool, when they called my name// talking about the government and how it's arranged") that this is something a young kid in school would be expected to know.

So I am interested in the questions of "what age/grade do people think is when these ideas are, or should be, taught?" and "what age/grade are they actually taught, where?"

Because where I'm from this isn't "12th grade government", it's second grade government, and I am not close to being done with being scandalized over the fact apparently large swaths of the US are wrong about this.

My question for you, o readers, is where and when and how you learned the basic principles of how your form of government is organized. For those of you educated in the US, I mean the real basics:

• Congress passes the laws;
• The President enforces and executes the laws;
• The Supreme Court reviews the laws and cancels them if they violate the Constitution.
Extra credit:
• The President gets a veto over the laws passed by Congress.
• Congress can override presidential vetoes.
• Money is allocated by laws, so Congress does it.

Nothing any deeper than that. For those of you not educated in the US, I'm not sure what the equivalent is for your local government, but feel free to make a stab at it.

So please comment with two things:

1) When along your schooling (i.e. your grade or age) were these basics (or local equivalent) about federal government covered (which might be multiple times and/or places), and what state (or state equivalent) you were in at the time?

2) What non-school education you got on this, at what age(s), and where you were?
kaberett: Trans symbol with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)
[personal profile] kaberett

Conveniently I can no longer find the bit of the allotment rules that says No Bringing In Gravel, so I am making plans to blithely bring in gravel for the sake of a base for The Shed, which is Definitely going to Happen this time, Honest.

The chief component I am now missing is a floor. Conveniently, there's an almost-complete house being built just up the road, with a big skip outside it, which currently contains several large sheets of plyboard. I can't actually get at them (it's all behind gates), but I am intending to show up on Tuesday morning and look hopeful at whoever's working there then.

(I am also missing enough sharp sand to level, and the gravel, but gravel at least should be fairly readily acquirable. It is possible I am also missing Some Important Bits Of Wood, but I care less about that because I have so many bits of misc wood at the allotment that I am pretty sure I can cobble something together.)

I am not going to manage to get all of this together before I disappear off to a field for a week, but I'm optimistic about getting it done in time to e.g. actually fill the greenhouse with chillis for the summer (an irritating amount of said greenhouse is currently functioning as storage space and actually I'd prefer it to be growing space. Actually.) Even I have now read enough guides to putting sheds together that I'm at least half-convinced I can probably actually more-or-less work it out.

... I will report back either triumphantly or shamefacedly in a few weeks' time. Watch This Space, etc.

oursin: Painting of Clio Muse of History by Artemisia Gentileschi (Clio)
[personal profile] oursin

But this promised to be a short video, by one of my academic crushes.

(Indeed, should I ever meet Professor Hutton I fear I shall melt down and revert into A Teenager in Love to the embarrassment of all.)

Ronald Hutton on Matthew Hopkins, the English Civil War's 'Witchfinder General': 'What really happened when a breakdown of the legal system in the English Civil War fuelled a series of witch-hunts? In this 10-Minute Talk, Professor Ronald Hutton FBA delves into England's witch trials and Matthew Hopkins, the self-proclaimed Witchfinder General.'

It was really local, it was really atypical -

- and I never realised how very young Hopkins was, as well as being in a socially marginal position. (Do we think that these days he'd be an incel mass shooter?) In the 1968 movie he was played by Vincent Price who was well on in his career by that date.

Concord Hymn [em, hist, US]

Apr. 19th, 2025 07:13 am
siderea: (Default)
[personal profile] siderea
Concord Hymn
("Hymn: Sung at the Completion of the Concord Monument, April 19, 1836")
by Ralph Waldo Emerson
To the tune of "Old Hundredth" (Louis Bourgeois, 1547)

Performed by the Choir of First Parish Church, Concord, Massachusetts. Elizabeth Norton, Director. Uploaded Oct 1, 2013.

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